Show Me Stupid

August 9, 2021

Missouri is in the middle of continental America and known as the “Show Me State”, derived from the legend that its residents were savvy and used common sense and needed to be “shown” something in order to believe it. Show me, goes the saying because I’m logical, I’m not stupid … I’m from Missouri.

Well, what a difference a century makes. Today, Missouri occupies one of the top places as one of the worst governments in America, in large measure because its politics have become the antithesis of common sense, healthy skepticism, or rationality. Don’t get me wrong. Missouri is a nice place to live -- and the birthplace of Harry S. Truman, Mark Twain, Brad Pitt, and ragtime jazz – but the state now stands shoulder to shoulder with Tennessee and other Covidiocy regimes which have been turned into state-wide COVID spreading events with high rates of infections. And Missouri Governor Mike Parson presides.

Mike Parson meme

For example, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention recently suggested mask mandates were a good idea to counter higher rates of infection, but Parson put his foot firmly in it when he dramatically declared on Fox News that there’d be no mask mandate as long as he was in charge. So there’s that.

But he outdid himself on August 3 when he pardoned a couple of trigger-happy lawyers who Donald Trump catapulted to fame as “Second Amendment” heroes onstage during his surreal Republican convention in 2020. The two, Mark and Patricia McCloskey of St. Louis, had been charged with brandishing weapons and threatening a group of peaceful Black Lives Matter protesters who happened to be passing by their mansion on the way to protest in front of the Mayor’s mansion nearby. Mark aimed his automatic rifle, an A-R 15, and his missus, Patricia, pointed her semi-automatic pistol at innocent people and unleashed a ton of verbal threats. Later, a special prosecutor said that the crowd was peaceful, caused no damage, and did not trespass.

The McCloskeys — aka Mr. and Mrs. Smith — yell and point weapons on their lavish grounds at black people who were passing by

After the incident, the couple was charged with felony charges involving the unlawful use of a weapon and evidence tampering, which garnered international attention. They became celebrities among the alt-right crowd: Republican Senator Josh Hawley of Missouri described the legal case against them as “a politically motivated attempt to punish this family for exercising their Second Amendment right to bear arms” and ex-President Trump called the prosecution of the couple “a disgrace”. Then Trump put them onstage.

The attention hoisted Mark McCloskey into politics. He and his wife vigorously campaigned on behalf of Trump’s re-election effort and seven months later, in May this year, he announced his candidacy as a Republican nominee for a U.S. Senate seat that is up for grabs in 2022. Just weeks after his announcement, Missouri prosecutors reduced the charges against them (both are personal injury lawyers and faced disbarment if convicted of a felony). They agreed to a plea deal and on July 17 they pled guilty to mere misdemeanor offenses: Mark for fourth-degree assault, and Patricia for harassment. He was fined $750 and Patricia $2,000. Their guns were to be surrendered and destroyed.

After their plea, McCloskey delivered a “Rambo” rant on the courtroom steps based on his thoroughly imagined threat: “I’d do it again. Any time the mob approaches me, I’ll do what I can to put them in imminent threat of physical injury because that’s what kept them from destroying my house and my family.”

Home Sweet Home for the McCloskeys — their restored Busch mansion

This August 3, Governor Parson pardoned them, and a few others, but resisted pressure to grant clemency to Kevin Strickland, a black man who, several prosecutors maintain, was wrongfully convicted of a 1978 triple homicide in Kansas City. “It is beyond disgusting that Mark and Patricia McCloskey admitted they broke the law and within weeks are rewarded with pardons, yet men like Kevin Strickland, who has spent more than 40 years in prison for crimes even prosecutors now say he didn’t commit, remain behind bars with no hope of clemency,” said Missouri House Democratic leader Crystal Quade.

Senator Josh (wannabe Trump) Hawley refused to comment on the Strickland pardon issue but enthusiastically endorsed McCloskey’s. “I think that the so-called prosecution of them’s [sic] outrageous. I think it was clearly trumped-up,” he told Fox News. 

Hawley is touted as a potential leader once Trump leaves or falters, and distinguished himself from the rest of the MAGA crew by raising his fist, white-supremacy style, on his way to Congress in December 2020 where he objected to the certification of Joe Biden’s victory as President. He also led efforts to obstruct the Electoral College vote count, an activity that propelled the “Stop the Steal” conspiracy behind the January 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol. Meanwhile, back home he’s a champion for lawless and wealthy gun-wielding wackos, not the rule of law.

McCloskey as Pacino in “Scarface”

Hawley is the antithesis of “show me” common sense or cautious skepticism. In 2012, he wrote an essay that stated without equivocation a view of government that is out of sync with the Constitution or with most Americans: “Government serves Christ's kingdom rule; this is its purpose. And Christians' purpose in politics should be to advance the kingdom of God — to make it more real, more tangible, more present.”

And, needless to say, his kingdom of God is supposed to be armed to the teeth.

At least these crazy events settle one question. For years, people have debated whether Missouri is a Midwestern state or a Southern one. But that’s no longer up for grabs. It’s the Deep South and a jurisdiction run by people who the late, great bigot Governor George Wallace would have been proud to call colleagues. Missouri has become a place where rich whites have privileges and get pardons and where “Show Me” skepticism, smarts and common sense are vanishing qualities.

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